GAP Group

Tuesday, Nov. 25 -- Before too much time passes, I want to describe our travel group, which fortunately for all of us was extremely congenial. I think we were all pretty impressed with our ability to get along so well, as well as relieved that everyone was so friendly.

Sean Adair and Iva Pargova are recent graduates of the University of British Columbia, both in microbiology. He's applying to law schools, with an eye toward intellectual property, and she is thinking of medical school. Very impressive young people.

Patrick Cuyegkeng and Marie Camerino are the honeymooners, married Oct. 25 in Toronto and a wonderful couple. He works for Deloitte and Touche and is a tech whiz and Marie was our group fashion plate. She put us all to shame by both donating blood at the hospital in Siem Reap and visiting the orphanage in Hoi An.

Randy Kahn and Michael Baumgarten are buddies from New York. Randy works at DeutcheBank and is engaged to Kim (marriage scheduled for May) and Mike works for Thomson Reuters, where he sells information. The old ladies viewed these two like our sons and thoroughly enjoyed their company.

Rachel Pivnick is the CFO for American Ballet Theater in NYC and is probably the most experienced and independent traveler in the group. Well-read and familiar with our destinations, she became our guide-by-default several times and did an excellent job.

Ming Lee and Debbie Gumina are surgeons who live in Fresno and are the parents of Christopher, 8. Ming's a thoracic surgeon and Debbie's a breast cancer surgeon. Ming's a very big Chinese guy, and his ethnicity proved a puzzle wherever we went. The locals didn't know quite what to make of him.

Mairead and Nick Rushbrooke live in north Wales. She's Irish, he's British. They married after her daughter married his son. Nick's a retired civil engineer, inquisitive about everything and a great conversationalist. Raid's a retired teacher with a great sense of humor. Nick was the oldest member of the group by one week!!

Karen Wold and Nancy McCarthy are old friends from Marin County, California, who've known each other since their sons were in kindergarten, nearly 25 years ago. Karen's a longtime volunteer for schools and the county grand jury, and Nancy's a newspaper hack. We had a blast!

Extinction is Forever

Thursday, Nov. 20 -- For the final day of our trip, we made a wise choice -- a day at the Patara Elephant Farm. Just outside Chiang Mai, it is one of seven camps in or near the city and is dedicated to increasing Thailand's elephant population, which has declined from a one-time high 200 years ago of 100,000, to 6,000 40 years ago, to the current 5,000 —1,600 wild and about 3,500 domestic. Visitors to Patara are expected to work with the elephants, but we had no idea that they really meant it.

First, everyone chose an elephant, or one chose you. Karen's was Massa Sei Noi, who is pregnant at 37, and I owned Kapok, 40, childless and the biggest one around. After feeding them a big basket of bananas and sugar cane, we had to make sure our elephant was in a good mood (they flap their ears and swing their tails if they are) and healthy. The latter was a four-step evaluation: they must be dirty, they must have slept, they have sweat between their toenails and their feet, and finally, we got to do a dung inspection. That was a treat, although the giant poops are mostly fiber without any odor. We then led our pachyderms to the river, got in with them and gave them a bath with a stiff bristle brush. That was actually hard work and took 10-15 minutes. They seemed to love it.

And then we climbed aboard. Let me just say this was not an exercise in grace. Although there are several ways to get up, the old ladies did it without any dignity whatsoever. It was hard — the elephants are about eight to nine feet high and weigh between 2.5 and four tons. They lie or bend down and you have to step on a leg and then a shoulder and hope you make it. This took many pushes and pulls by the trainers, or mahouts. You can also step on their trunk and scramble up. Once up there, you sit on their necks and bend your knees over the tops of their ears and hook your toes under the ears. You command them by hitting your toes against the insides of their ears and yelling "bai!" which means go. We also learned "stop" and "back up," along with the required knee or toe work. I can't say we were very successful at ordering them around. Fortunately, every elephant has a mahout who accompanied us every step of the way.

We then set out on a nearly two-hour ride, which included cramps and charlie horses, painfully stretched muscles and downright terror. We went through a jungle, up and down steep and very muddy trails and wound up at a beautiful waterfall where yet another delicious lunch awaited. Wonderful Thai food that the owner's wife buys every morning at a local market that's only open from 3-6 a.m. The meal was spread out on big banana leaves that served as a tablecloth. No utensils required; this was all finger food. The leftovers, and there were quite a few, went into our elephants' enormous mouths. Their tongues look like steaks. They also ate the tablecloths. Into the river for another bath and then we set off on the return hike. The scenery was gorgeous -- lush and tropical, through rice paddies and huts with rooves made of leaves, and with a stop at the little village were the mahouts live. Although we weren't aware our adventure entailed a contest, Karen was declared the winner at the end of the day, earning an elephant kiss on the arm.

Fourteen elephants live at Patara and Pat, the owner, hopes his females will produce 10 babies in the next 10 years. There's a special honeymoon spot along the hike where the keepers send a male to accommodate the females when they're in heat, every four months. A six-month-old baby played with us all day and he cracked us up. A very aggressive and smart little boy, he charged at us when we got there, knowing we had bananas. He rolled in the mud, scratched himself on rocks and trees, charged through the water and generally was underfoot. They call him a troublemaker because he's pretty rambunctious, but we all loved him.

I won't bore you with the history of elephants, although it's pretty interesting. But Pat left us with four lessons: eat like an elephant (they are vegetarians and never have diabetes, high cholesterol or heart attacks), walk like an elephant (carefully, thinking before you take a step) and live like an elephant (women are in charge). The girls really liked that one. Finally, touching an elephant is meant to bring good luck. Good things must be coming our way!

Nature Girls

Wednesday, Nov. 19 -- Karen is on the road to recovery, so what better activity than a little hiking? Doi Inthanon is a national park encompassing the highest peak in Thailand. Although we took a walk on a trail there, when we visited some royal chedis where various relics and ashes are stored, we couldn't see a thing because of fog. Pea soup!! And it was windy and cold, maybe 55-60 degrees, quite a switch from the heat and humidity that we haven't yet acclimated to. We'd brought fleece but didn't last too long up there. What we could see were people who were actually breaking up big rocks with sledgehammers, putting the rocks in baskets and dragging them up a hill, where they were building walls. Talk about backbreaking. You really see some pretty primitive stuff here. Further down the mountain, we had a picnic, courtesy of Patrick, who brought a bunch of Thai food we never would have tasted otherwise. Chicken green curry, pork green curry, fried pork and eggs stuffed with crab. We really liked kai palo, egg boiled with pork in a special sauce that turns the eggwhite brown. For dessert, he brought kanom sai, a mixture of coconut, sugar cane and rice flour wrapped in a banana leaf and then steamed. At a market on the road, Patrick, who apparently thought we were starving, bought us a bag of pudhsa, a fruit that's a cross between an apple and a pear. After lunch we walked along the Ang Ka (crow's pond) trail, which meanders through dense trees and brush. It's really like a jungle — dark, lots of moss hanging from the trees, the sounds of insects and lonely birds. It actually looks a lot like Adventureland.

Next was a stop at the Wachirathon waterfall, which gives Vernal Falls a run for its money. It flows all year and is huge. Hiking to the top was a bit like going up the mist trail, although when we got there, we discovered the main road. Could have driven!

Final stop, another wat. Omigod, do they never end? This one's name rolls off the tongue -- Wat Phra That Si Chom Thong Wora Wihan. Pithy, eh? It's allure is an actual piece of the right side of Buddha's head, supposedly the size of an ear of corn, kept inside a golden spire. More mosaics, more gold, more red, more serpents and buddhas. This is getting kinda "seen one, seen 'em all." One new thing was a huge bho tree, revered because Buddha achieved enlightenment under a bho, although not this particular one. The villagers prop up the branches with big supports that are carved and look like something from the south seas. Standing under the tree didn't seem to do much good for either of us . . .

Chiang Mai Potpourri

Tuesday, Nov. 18 -- On my own, due to my fellow traveler's continuing illness. Being a really caring roommate, I left Karen behind and took off with guide extraordinaire Patrick Smith, aka Pongesak Sudthivivat. Has a certain ring to it, n'est-ce pas? I thought we were just going to another wat, supposedly the best wat of them all, but Patrick had other ideas.

We started at the Maesa Elephant Camp, and although I know it's politically incorrect to patronize places where they treat these animals like circus performers, I have to say I loved it. Principle, schminciple. Six elephants were getting their morning bath as we arrived, and to all appearances, seemed happy as pigs in mud, and a lot cleaner. The show, which was in a kind of circus ring, began with two huge elephants carrying a sign handing on a pole held on their curled-up trunks: "Welcome to Maesa Elephant Farm." I figured we were really in for it. And we were. About 20 elephants were on parade, walking around in a circle, some holding the tail of the one ahead, others tapping them on their butts. Some swung their trunks in circles, one twirled a hula hoop on his trunk. They played soccer, with one as goalie, held harmonicas in their trunks and danced, gave a "massage" to a handler lying on the ground, engaged in a dart game with some poor schlemiel from the audience (guess who won?), moved huge logs up against some posts to build a wall and actually painted pictures with their trunks. They bowed, crossed their legs, trumpeted and did whatever circus elephants do. But Barnum & Bailey had nothin' on these guys. Talk about the greatest show on earth. At the end, they extended their trunks to the audience, who gave them money and bananas. It was a little like "gentlemen's club" patrons putting money in the strippers' g-strings. Or at least I imagine that's what it might be like. Patrick told me that at another farm, a vet created a prosthetic leg for an elephant who stepped on a land mine.

Then it was off to a beautiful botanical garden, a visit to a tiger farm, where for a price you can get up close and personal with the big cats, who were all asleep when I was there, and a visit to a butterfly/orchid farm. The very hungry caterpiller would have been embarrassed to see these guys -- about 4-5 inches long and about as big around as a dime. They were defoliating everything in sight. The orchids are grown hanging from wires rather than in soil, so long roots dangle down about five feet. There were thousands being grown, all different varieties and really gorgeous. Orchids are quite common here because they're easier to grow than roses.

We skipped the monkey and snake farms in favor of Bhubing Palace, the royal family's winter digs. Six homes stand on the property, which has a dancing fountain, a la Bellagio, and more fabulous gardens. The crown prince, whose log cabin sits above the fountain, has never stayed there.

Finally we hit Wat Phrahat Doi Suthep, one of Thailand's most sacred places with more lavish and ornate decoration and a completely gold spire in the middle. It is reached by climbing 261 steps — or by taking the cable car. Built in the 14th century, it's very high up a mountain and offers a panoramic view of Chiang Mai.

Patrick is really terrific and I had a great day yakking with him. He lost his job with a company that manufactures Adidas when it was bought a couple of years ago by the Chinese, who ousted all the Thais. Previously in marketing as a middle manager, he's very embarrassed to be working as a taxi driver/guide. He gave me all sorts of info about Thailand, where it is actually 2551 rather than 2008, because they go by the Buddhist lunar year. A new house here runs between $32,000-$60,000 (anyone interested?) but foreigners can't own the land so they mostly buy condos. Primary and secondary education are compulsory but not free, costing between $60-$300 per month. Lots of university-educated folks, but not enough jobs. And of course the economy has crashed here too.

By the way, Bruce, there are big billboards here advertising the Thailand Seniors Open at the Summit Green Valley golf course. I think you should go for it.

Finally, a quiet oasis

Monday, Nov. 17 (later still) -- Arrived in Chiang Mai early today, and it is so different from everywhere else we've been. It's a little like Hawaii, tropical, lush vegetation, surrounded by mountains. Our hotel is called Fern Paradise, and it is. A river runs through it, almost 70 varieties of fern grow here, the nine units are old rice barns on stilts and furnished with lots of rattan. It's beautiful and quiet, about 20 minutes out of town.

Karen's under the weather so I headed into the old city, entered through one of five gates and surrounded by a moat. More temples (wats, by the way), by the dozen. They're much older than those in Bangkok and quite different. And then, each is different from every other one here. The oldest is Wat Chiangmun, which features a little crystal buddha believed to be 1800 years old and a marble buddha thought to be 2500 years old. The temple was founded in the 13th century and the walls of the main building are covered with brightly colored murals, with a clear Indian influence, plus lots of red and gold. Wat Chedi Luang is famous for a huge ruined chedi, or pillar, right in the middle, that I believe was wrecked in an earthquake. There's a buddhist university on the grounds, with monks aplenty. In fact, there's a large sign on a building that reads, "Welcome to Monk Chat," and offers visitors the opportunity to talk to a monk about his life, buddhism, Thai culture or just "anything." I didn't see any takers. Third wat is the biggest — Wat Prasingh, the main civic temple. The complex includes a school, several temple buildings, a pagoda, a library and murals with scenes of early life. One temple had four buddhas, one on each side of the altar, and each is different — one's green, one's gold, one's black and the fourth was a mystery. More reclining buddhas as well. In addition to these, there are literally dozens of other wats throughout the old quarter. Everywhere you turn, there's another one. Each is decorated differently but they all feature a gold buddha in the center. Some have a couple dozen gold buddhas. Some have elephants. Some have gold monks. All have gold and porcelain/mirror mosaic decoration. It's quite mind-boggling.

I splurged on a foot massage for $2.80. Felt divine. Massage places are all over; I picked one in a monastery. Karen made it into town for dinner and the night market. Hard to believe the goods are different from Vietnam and Cambodia . . . but they are.

Steamy, not stormy

Monday, Nov. 17 (later) -- Our numbers are dwindling, as two of our group left for home on Sunday. Our guide also checked out, so adventuresome Rachel became our guide by default. She was great. We headed directly for the royal palace to try to take in some of the funeral procession and imagine our surprise when the soldiers, horses, drummers and dignitaries headed our way, along with the remains of the princess. What a show! Major pomp and pageantry. Two white horses whose riders wore peacock colored hats like British bearskins led off. One of them was quite naughty (the horse, not the rider) and did his business right in the middle of the parade. Fortunately, a white gloved lackey walked behind, and he immediately scooped the poop with those white gloves, dumped it in a bag and ran it over to the gutter. Not a spot was left on the street but there's no report on the state of his gloves. A couple of our higher class fellow travelers recorded the royal dung for posterity and perhaps we can post the photos for all to enjoy. The rest of the procession hardly measured up. The princess' remains were separated into two golden urns, with more elaborate decoration, and they were mounted on two palanquins carried on the shoulders of servants. A kneeling monk rode backwards, holding on to the biggest urn. There were hundreds of palace attendants or military or monks on parade, all dressed in gorgeous uniforms, mostly red or blue. The drums beat in cadence with every 12th step, and when the royal family showed up, we had to remove sunglasses and hats, and photography was prohibited. We think they all went off to a final resting place, but the funeral continues Monday and Tuesday so who knows where that poor princess will wind up.

Next was the amulet market, where you can shop for cures for what ails you, and a quick ice cream at Swensen's! Bangkok, by the way, is home to everything from Burger King to Dunkin' Donuts to McDonalds to 7-11. KFC is all over the place, including Vietnam and Cambodia. Mike was feeling a little punk, so he visited a doctor at the amulet market, for free, and came away with some kind of huge pills. Who knows what they were. We hopped on a water taxi across the river to visit Wat Arun, a landmark temple on the river that's reminiscent of Angkor Wat but is decorated with embedded pieces of porcelain, and then back to the other side to visit Wat Pho, home of the famous reclining buddha. This one is all gold, about 30 yards long and he has really huge feet whose soles are covered with mother of pearl. The grounds actually house about a half dozen temples, all different, all elaborately decorated. There's much more Indian influence here than in Cambodia, and rather than carved decoration, most of the designs are porcelain with lots of mirror mosaics. Extremely beautiful. We were unable to see the famous emerald buddha, closed due to the funeral. Again, all this caused sensory overload. It's hard to appreciate the grandeur of these places in just a few hours. Despite warnings from our guide about all the precautions one needs to take when coming across a monk (women can't look at them, men have to walk behind them and can't be taller than), they were awfully normal. One was smoking and another had very visible tatoos. They're all over the place in their saffron robes, shaved heads and eyebrows. The novices are mini-monks; the same but younger.

We boarded a water ferry to head for some shopping. These aren't the Golden Gate ferries and they cost about 10 percent as much. First you have to wade through sometimes flooded boarding areas (restaurants and markets also were flooded, we think due to tides) and then you kind of leap aboard and sit on benches. They make stops all along the river and are an efficient means of transportation, given the traffic. At our stop, we got on the sky train, yet another mode of transport, and headed for a huge shopping area called BMK. It's about five stories, crammed with stuff for the young and hip. We really felt at home. I just love Juicy Couture and Esprit. A couple people went off for massages and some went to Prantip Plaza, computerland extraordinaire. Anyone who's interested in hardware, software, accessories, camera lenses and all things electronic would have a ball in this five-story emporium, crammed to the rafters with stuff.

That's it for Bangkok. It's an enormous city, bustling, noisy, crowded, really hot. They drive on the wrong side of the road, but unlike Vietnam and Cambodia, they stay in their lanes and don't jump the curb to get around other drivers. No roundabouts. The cabs are neon pink, green, yellow.

Can't believe the tour's over. We said our goodbyes. I hope we all stay in touch.

Exit Cambodia, Enter Thailand

Monday, Nov. 17 -- I'm a little behind and it seems like days ago that we left Cambodia, although I believe it was just Saturday. Anyway, four of us rented a tuk-tuk for a two-hour drive through the countryside. At $5 each, the driver made a killing, enough to support his family for a day. The mini-tour was just magical, because we didn't do the usual tourist stuff. Finally got up close and personal with numerous water buffalo and brahma cows, saw a herd of goats, stopped at a little house where the women were making sugar cane "cigars" and another where they made baskets, photographed some other women harvesting rice in a paddy, and looked at some more typical Cambodian homes, many on stilts because of the wet weather. At one point, we were surrounded by about a dozen kids wanting to sell us little origami ornaments, five for a buck. Of course we couldn't resist. Neither the selling nor the buying is unusual.

Arriving in Bangkok, we learn the country is in a state of mourning due to the death of the princess who was sister to the king. The fact that she died last Jan. 2 doesn't matter; she's been making her way to the afterworld for several months and the government has been spending multiple millions to ready the funeral preparations. Her funeral pyre was burned at 10 pm. Mostly what it means to tourists is that some attractions — particularly the royal palace — are closed for the three days of mourning.

Bangkok, with about 8 million inhabitants, is super crowded, super noisy and really pretty at night. It's a city of lights and on the river all the boats are lighted as well as the buildings. Water taxis take folks where they want to go because the traffic is unnavigable. A quick stroll through Chinatown, where we're staying, made Saigon and Hanoi look sleepy, if possible. Think Chinatown in SF and multiply by 10 or more. The streets are just beyond description, with booth after booth crammed on top of each other. So much stuff for sale, mostly junk, you don't even know where to look. It ranges from air guns (illegal in the US) to used cameras to remote control devices to rat poison. Nothing very appealing.

The evening was spent on a dinner cruise, with more dancing girls in beautiful costumes and a celebration of Nick's birthday. He's a week older than me, so I'm not the oldest, to my relief. It's our final gathering as a tour; I think we'll miss each other because we really are a good group.

Wat's Up?

Friday, Nov. 14 -- Cambodia has 5,000 temples; we visited five. I haven't seen "Lara Croft, Tomb Raider," but if you have, that's what we're seeing. Part of the movie was filmed at Ta Prohm, the so-called jungle temple, which has been allowed to revert to its natural state. That means it has been taken over by tree roots as big as trunks that twist and encircle the ruins, breaking them apart in places. It was built by a ruler whose name I can't remember to honor his mother. Nell, Pat and Connor . . . Christmas is coming.

Ban Teay Kdey was next, a temple originally built to honor Buddha, but then taken over by followers of Hindu. On to Prasat Krawan — translation: Tower of Cardamon, a small temple built in 921 by Hindus and dedicated to Vishnu. Surrounded by a moat and five towers. We then went to Angkor Tom, which means big town, a royal city once inhabited by 1 million people. It included many temples; Bayon probably was my favorite. Well-preserved, it features elaborate bas reliefs that depict battles, daily scenes such as fishing, cock fighting and a woman giving birth, and many animals, including water buffalo, alligators, horses, elephants and monkeys. Three groups were at war at the time — the Chinese, depicted with slanted eyes, a beard and topknot, Khmer (the Cambodians), represented with long ears and big lips, and Cham, who had an upside down lotus on their heads. The temple has 54 towers, each with four huge faces about six feet high. The towers themselves are as tall as tall buildings. The gates are guarded by serpents.

The granddaddy of them all, of course, is Angkor Wat, the biggest temple in the world. Bigger than the Taj Mahal, Machu Pichu, Versailles. It is the best preserved and was rediscovered in the mid-1800s. It's a Hindu temple, dedicated to Vishnu. More bas reliefs, as long as a football field, depicting battles, heaven and hell, and thousands of apsara, the famous topless dancing girls wearing elaborate headdresses. The guys probably don't notice the headdresses. Scaffolding has been erected around some of the towers, which are being reconstructed, courtesy of the Japanese and German governments. We started our visit at 5 am, hoping to catch the sunrise. It was a little too cloudy, but there were fewer tourists (maybe a few thousand as opposed to tens of thousands) and it was cooler.

I'm pretty mixed up on Buddhism v. Hinduism, Buddha v. Vishnu, mythology v. religion. Literally everything carved on walls is symbolic of something; figures have many arms, serpents protect the gods, particular numbers are important. And literally every inch is covered with carving. The temples are vast, surrounded by moats and walls, and cover acre after acre. Water buffalo roam, brahma cows graze, monkeys skitter across the tops of the towers. Lily pads cover the moats. Most temples were built before the 12th century and are in serious disrepair, due to time, weather, battles and theft of artifacts. However, the Cambodian government as well as others governments are funding some reconstruction. Scholars, of course, study them for years, so a two-day visit just skims the surface. It's a little like visiting the Metropolitan Museum in NY in four hours. Neither words nor pictures can capture the grandeur of the temples. Suffice to say they are nothing short of awesome.